Man, this week was hard.
So we are having a way hard time finding still. Last week I gave the analogy about the Escalator Effect in missionary work, in regards to finding. I've come to really understand that even more this last week. It is critical to missionary work that we are constantly finding. Just as Preach My Gospel states- "Nothing happens in missionary work until you find someone to teach..."
That is an eternal truth. We cannot teach people, and baptize them, if we do not find them. That is a commandment from Jesus Christ- to "find them that will receive you".
We went to a member's wedding this last week and had a funny experience. Some former Southern Baptist Preacher walked up to us, and tried to bash with us. He was asking dumb questions, trying to make us look stupid in regards to dancing, being virgins, and Joseph Smith being a prophet. We answered all his questions boldly, and truthfully, and he was confounded. He ended the conversation saying "Well, I can tell you sincerely believe what you believe and so I will stop this conversation because I do not want to destroy your belief." I don't think he realized he strengthened it, because we bore testimony of the Authority and Divinity of this work, and we felt the Spirit. My favorite part was when we were talking about how we do dance, but not provocatively, and he asked if we find any of the girls there attractive "sexually" and I said "yes". We explained a difference between thinking if a girl was pretty and wanting to sleep with her, and we quoted Jesus saying "He that looketh upon a woman and lusteth after her, hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." His response was "He said that???" Later he was like "we need to read the bible together, so I can show you the truth." He didn't really know what he was talking about HA!
The hardest part of this last week was on thursday. I'm so hesitant to share it, because it is really devastating.
So these last 2 weeks or so we've been trying super hard to set up a time to meet with Thomas for the new member lessons. But we haven't been able to meet with him. Thursday I felt impressed to text his wife, Nikolee, and to ask her when we can meet for the lessons. She texted back "I don't think Thomas wants to be a member anymore. It is very complicated everything..." a big "WHAT?!?!?!" popped up over my head, and in my head and through out the apartment. I immediately got a text message from Thomas as well saying "Thank you for everything you have done, but I will not be meeting with you anymore. Hopefully I find my way back, but until then please respect my wishes." I asked Thomas what was up, and if everything is ok. He texted back saying: "Sort of. I lied to everyone. Nikolee and I are working through things. I never had a testimony. I apologize but I cannot meet mormon standards right now." I started going back and forth inside through anger and sadness over this, because Thomas lied. He seemed super sincere in his investigation, but it was all a game.
To give a little background for new readers- Thomas and Nikolee were separated earlier this year, because Thomas wouldn't work with Nikolee on some things. Nikolee decided she wanted a temple marriage, and Thomas was not wanting to do what he needed to to give her that. But after the split he decided he wanted to give a shot, and got baptized. But I guess, he didn't do it sincerely, and only wanted her back. I feel crushed enough as it is, but I can't imagine what Nikolee is going through right now. We saw her at that wedding this last weekend, and she looked like she'd done a lot of crying. In short, this is hard. But on a positive note, I have come to understand the Atonement more through this. I realized two things:
1. No, it was not my fault Thomas lied
2. It was Thomas' fault he lied. (yes, I am very slow at times- get that beam out of your eyes, jerks.)
Thomas made the choice to make a covenant he was not sincere about. That is huge. He will stand accountable for not using the Atonement in the way that God and Christ deemed it to be used. Salvation is not a game. It is important, and open for anyone. But God will judge us on the thoughts and intents of our hearts, and if we do not live the Doctrine of Christ to the max, and sincerely- what is the point in doing it anyways? Without real faith, it is nothing.
We are going to work with Thomas and Nikolee and see what we can do to help Thomas out, but from what it sounds like chances are slim.
On a brighter note, Becky is doing AMAZING. We've had 3 new member lessons with her, and she has born her testimony to us twice, and is making comments in class and everything. She texts us about what she has studied and is just awesome. I'm glad she is doing so well. :)
In the end the Gospel is still true. Yes, life comes with heartaches, and pains, bumps, bruises, and Satan. But God is good, and we can overcome anything through him, and our Redeemer, the Victor; Jesus Christ!
We're entering August. 1 year ago I was in Fairfield, sweet Fairfield. Yesterday was my 22 month click, I remembered when I called Elder Howard who was in the MTC with me, and is now an AP. First thing he said was "happy 22nd click!" I was like "oh yeah", two more months! DANG!
anyways bye.
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