I've realized just how expensive toothpaste is.
This last week was very slow. We were low on miles so we could not drive alot, so we walked, and walked and walked. Keokuk is a pretty spread out town, and given the place where we live... we have to walk a few miles to get into the part of town where we can actually work. So that was alot of walking. In the long run I was wearing wal-mart shoes -don't do that- which fell apat. It was pretty intense. I went and saw a member who is a chiropractor and I was WAY out of place. Because those shoes really really beat me up! Church shoes are just not meant for walking in is the thing, so it's hard on all missionaries. But I got some insoles that should help too! My dad should be ordering new shoes soon too. :3
I also saw a dentist. I have a sensitive tooth. And my teeth need to be cleansed. Though my teeth be as.... yellow jello, they shall be white as snow! They shall indeed sparkle and twinkle. They won't be changed in the twinkling of an eye. But they'll look better than my sisters! She has to have braces. Brace face.
This last week I pondered alot on my family, and my mission. It's been 17 months since I began my mission. It's funny, because 1 year ago, I was in Bloomington, Illinois- with Elder Unsicker, who is now home actually. That's so weird! I am actually one of the older missionaries in the mission right now. There are only 3 or 4 groups that go home before I do. That's crazy!
I realized this last week on pondering my mission, that I have alot of burdens. Burdens that need lifting! I've had so many struggles on my mission, heck I'll even say in my life! Just gospel-wise. Before my mission I had lots of struggles with my testimony. On everything to do with the church. The fact that I am here still blows my mind. But with that said, I am grateful I am here. This last week I realized I can't do this work alone. I can't beat my struggles alone, I can't expect myself to be the leader I need to be for Elder Bradshaw, and do it alone. During my personal study on Friday I felt like I had a need to repent, so I went into my bedroom and prayed. I prayed for so many things. I spent the whole hour praying out loud, and pleading with the Lord for forgiveness for my transgressions, for guidance on where to go and what to do for Keokuk, for my investigators; for him to help them to progress and find what they need to find. For my family, that they might be capable of beating their struggles, and that they might have the guidance of His spirit as they go about doing good. I prayed for the Prophet and the Apostles, for the leadership of this Mission, as well as the fellow missionaries around the world. I prayed for our government, and the Nation, as we are in struggle with wars and rumors of wars, natural disasters, pesilence and disease, hatred, darkness, destruction. I prayed for people I might have had an ill thought towards, and to love them as He loves them. I prayed for my companion, and alot more. I had an amazing experience with this prayer. I came to finally understand what it means to take the Lord's yoke upon us, and He will make our burdens easy. Yes, missionary work is still hard at times. But I feel God's love for me. I know I did that hour when I prayed sincerely and faithfully for others. I grew to know how important to me my family really is, and the importance of being worthy, so that I can spend eternity with them when the time comes. I am grateful I have a loving Father in Heaven, who really will listen to me, when I am in need.
President Uchtdorf gave a very powerful talk, that struck me hard as well. This last week I read the talk 'Waiting on the Road to Damascus'- given in April 2011. That talk was amazing because it helped me to realize that if I want to recieve answers to prayers I need to go about searching them out. As well as if I am hoping to change my life in any kind of way, I cannot just sit and wait for my life to change, but I must go out and change it. I love the theory of how we can either:
1. Choose our Actions, and face the consequences that come with those actions
OR
2. Choose our Consequences and do what it takes to get there.
That is the beauty of the Gospel. Is it revolves around that very principal. If I want to make it the Celestial Kingdom, then I can't just go. I need to do what is necessary to get there. I need to do my home teaching, serve my mission faithfully, uphold my callings, and priesthood duties, follow the prophet, follow the Savior, read my scriptures, pray often, attend church, exercise faith in Jesus Christ, repent, serve others. I have to live my life as He would, and as He did. Jesus Christ lived a perfect life, and He continues to live in perfection to this day. I cannot be perfect now, but I darn can try! That's the purpose of the Gospel, is the help us to achieve perfection. The Doctrine of Christ is only the beginning of that very concept! That is why the last principle to the Doctrine of Christ is ENDURING TO THE END. We all as followers of Christ must do what it takes in order to make it there. Latter-Day Saints don't talk the talk, they walk the walk. Let's be true Latter-Day Saints, and walk in His footsteps. The Road to Damascus is a long road, yes. But if we wait on there forever, we'll never get to Damascus! We've got to move! The Devil wants us to sit still. The Lord will even send guides and assistance if we need it in order to move. Just like that tale of the man who was in the flood, and was stuck on his roof. He prayed to our Father in Heaven for help, and waited for the Lord to deliver him. A boat showed up and the man driving said "get in!" but the man resisted saying "Oh, I'm waiting for God to save me." The boat left, and the waters got higher. A helicopter showed up and the driver called out "Get in! I carry you to safety!" but the foolish man denied responding "God is going to save me eventually!" To this foolish mans disappointment the waters rose, and he drowned. When he appeared before the Lord he asked "why didn't you save me?! I believed you come!" and the Lord shook His head and said "Did I not send you a boat? Did I not send you a helicopter?"
How often do we recognize the miracles and aid the Lord places into our lives? I think about that and I see how much I missed. But we can repent, and we can do better. Let's just not wait until the waters are too high, and there is no turning back.
We are approaching General Conference again. I would encourage all younger people to get study journals, and to write down the words of Christ. For that is what the Prophets speak. They are guided and directed by Him, who is Holy. I know that is true, I testify of it, because I have seen how much it has impacted my life these last 17 months. These have been the best months of my life, and for my life. The life is short, but it can always be the best- if you really want it, and you really go for it.
~Elder Prows
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